Light Up the Night

In order to christen this new website blog thing I'm gonna do the impossible.

I'm gonna review a song.

Wish me luck.

Light Up The Night - The Protomen

This city's sleeping like a soldier

He's a Canadian soldier so really it's quite boring

trapped inside of an iron lung,

They couldn't afford steel.

Machines can keep you breathing

They could but he wants your money right now so he's gonna pull the plug right now...


Good luck in hell Grandma!

but what happens when you find a new war's begun?

You sleep in a cozy hospital bed while everyone else fights?

Flip a switch and turn it off, you won't be able to breathe.

Cause obviously in the middle of a war they'd decide to kill the patients... Wait what?

So either way you're a casualty.

Except in one case it was caused by horrible doctors and in the other it's caused by horrible dictators.

I've got this burning like my veins are filled

With aids.

with nothing but gasoline.

His blood must be worth a small Arab fortune.

And with a spark,

The ignition turns on.

it's gonna be the biggest fire they've ever seen.

They're roasting marshmallows in celebration of the momentous occasion.

Cut me down or let me run,

It's like the climax of the second Indian Jones film. You know on the bridge and shit.

either way it's all gonna burn...

He had to apologize profusely for burning the steaks.

The only way that they'll ever learn

If they paid attention in class once in a goddamn while.

We've got to turn it off,

"The Kettle is making that horrible noise and I can't stand it anymore."

Flip a switch.

And the light turns on!


You can't explain that!

Light up the night!

I believe they also refer to that one as "toking up".

There is a city that this darkness can't hide.

The darkness is following the rules meanwhile your out here singing a stupid song which is a clear violation of section 12a.

There are the embers of a fire that's gone out,

Charmander has fainted.

But I can still feel the heat on my skin

"Mostly because I am still on fire as I sing. Literally. Someone please send help."

This mess we're in, well you and I,

The things that can happen with a pack of condoms, a bottle of whiskey, and a clown suit.

maybe you and I,

This guy is even worse than the guy from Pulp*!

We can still make it right.

And by right he means right hand. He's talking about mutual masturbation session.

Maybe we can bring back the light.

It's as simple as going to the hardware store and picking up a bulb.

At the heart of the city there is a building that looks down over all there is.

It's called the Stock Exchange.

And the man in the tower controls it all without raising a single fist.

He's very much unlike Caligula who was all about the fisting.

It's like they gathered up the city, they sold it to the devil, and now

The Devil bought it for twenty bucks and half an egg salad sandwich.

It's gone to hell and they wonder how.

Well the Devil kind of just picked it up and placed it there.

Well, a friend once told me:

If you ever meet a whore named Susan, she most certainly has gonorrhea. Wise words to live by. 

Men, they would follow any man who would turn the wheels.

Ever since the days of yonder us men can't stop the fascination with wheels. That's why the rebellion is all women.

Now the wheels are spinning out of control; what would they do if we held them still?

You'd get a massive tire burn over your hands that may even tear your skin.

If you destroy the working parts, what you'll get is a broken machine.

Actually you'd get nothing since in order for a machine to work all of it's parts need to be working.

SEE LOGIC DICTATES THAT THIS LINE IS STUPID!

A beacon of light from a burning screen.

That's simply the latest episode of Jersey Shore.

Light it up.

Toke up like real gangstas... 

I've been doing too much rap music.


(*This is a reference to a previous review which I will post shortly, Common People by Pulp.)